damerell

Today - fortunately as I was just about 500 yards from the flat - some kind of insect hit me in the belly, and managed to penetrate between my jersey and the waistband of my shorts.

Then it stung me with what I can only assume was a jagged-edged envenomed poinard of a stinger, an insect-sized weapon of mass destruction. Squealing like a little girl [1] and clutching my abused gut I staggered back home with one hand on the bars and whisked off my clothes in case the offending beastie was still in them.

This hurt like, well:

[=====================================================================================||====]
broken nail     stubbed toe  hangover    cracked ribs     passing blood clots    being stung by the
                                                                  biggest fucking insect in Britain

more than anything I can remember.

Now I've got a big red patch, a swelling in the middle of it an inch across, and a bloody hole in the middle of that... and it still hurts like the very devil.

Good job it didn't happen just after setting out, really...

[1] this is a LIE since I was too busy alternately cursing and sucking air to curse with.