damerell: (trouble)
damerell ([personal profile] damerell) wrote2010-04-07 02:28 pm

Eastercon 2010

Things I have discovered at and around Eastercon 2010:

Five different ways to carry a wheelchair on a Carry Freedom large Y-Frame trailer, all of which are somehow unsafe or vexing or both.

No ways to do that which are neither unsafe nor vexing.

That you can bend the hitch on a CF trailer if you really work at it by, eg, dropping the bike rightwards with a heavy load on it.

That to unbend the hitch in order to detatch the trailer and fit a replacement hitch requires tools, excessive strength, and so many salty oaths that you may have to phone a Yiddish-speaking friend and request some fresh ones.

Three ways to carry an empty wheelchair up steps all of which are tricky and awkward.

No ways to do that which are neither tricky nor awkward.

That, although a wheelchair folds up and hence takes up less space on the Tube, it cannot be pushed easily while folded because the front wheels foul each other, and hence that you will unfold and fold it approximately 8000 times in any journey.

That, with a human loaded, the front wheels cannot climb any ledge more than about 5mm in height and hence you will spend a lot of time standing on the back of it to lift them over things.

That, on any sloping surface, a wheelchair veers lovingly downslope, requiring the exercise of considerable effort to keep it on line.

That the rubber handgrips are much easier to pull off (eg, when keeping it on line) than they are to put back on again.

That the leg supports stick out more than you expect, clang thump, and also that doorways are way narrower than you think, thump scrape.

That it is impolite to say "ramming speed!" whenever a straight long corridor presents itself, or "banzai!" at the top of a downward slope.

That if you are outside the Red Cross in Cambridge with an empty trailer and a heavy rucksack, you are going to tie up the trailer's loading straps, put on the heavy rucksack, slap your forehead, and call yourself a rude name.

That apparently every London bus has a cunning extending ramp on the rear doors. Glee!

Thanks to the lovely [livejournal.com profile] hazyjayne who tolerated me making many of these discoveries.

Also Discovered...

[identity profile] hazyjayne.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 01:47 pm (UTC)(link)
* The leg supports stick hurts when it clobbers you on the head.

That it is impolite to say "ramming speed!" whenever a straight long corridor presents itself, or "banzai!" at the top of a downward slope.

It is also quiet alarming for the passenger...
shermarama: (Default)

[personal profile] shermarama 2010-04-07 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Did you ever meet my flatmate, Tom? It's just that in my head, anyone saying 'ramming speed!' must be doing a Tom impression.

[identity profile] damerell.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 01:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I think so, but I think anyone who regularly moves heavy objects by human power says it. :-)
shermarama: (Default)

[personal profile] shermarama 2010-04-07 02:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Tom mainly says it when driving a RIB or other motor vehicle or sailing a boat. Especially one with a bowsprit.

[identity profile] major-clanger.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 02:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, with the exception of the bike-related ones, I learned most of these when I was married to [livejournal.com profile] bugshaw during her Particularly Bad Back period.

But B did find out that regarding

That it is impolite to say "ramming speed!" whenever a straight long corridor presents itself

you can, at a convention, get away with gaffer-taping an egg-whisk and a sink-plunger to the wheelchair arms and saying "EXTERMINATE!!"...

[identity profile] damerell.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 02:02 pm (UTC)(link)
The idea came up but we didn't have a sink plunger. :-(

If I had half a brain I might have asked you and/or Bug for advice.

[identity profile] oneplusme.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
For the more adventurous in the field of construction, this may be the answer...

[identity profile] damerell.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Goodness me. That is terribly impressive.

[identity profile] bugshaw.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 05:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Going backwards up ledges (big wheels first) works quite well.

[identity profile] damerell.livejournal.com 2010-04-08 01:55 pm (UTC)(link)
After a while I got quite good at tromping on the two sticky-out bits at the back. Sarah didn't really move around under her own power much.

[identity profile] siani-hedgehog.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 02:38 pm (UTC)(link)
one of my mates broke both legs sledding at christmas. by FUCK the standard wheelchair is a dreadfully designed piece of shit. we made all those discoveries, plus "if you hit a pebble while crossing the road, the wheelchair will upend, tipping the user out. fortunately, if one of his legs is in plaster to the hip and stuck out in front of him, it wil act as a prop and slam him backwards!"

[identity profile] damerell.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 02:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I think that's the 5mm problem in a different guise. Fortunately we figured it out at slow speed the first few times.

At the con we saw a few long-term wheelchair users who obviously have special ninja machines and can neem about at enormous speed. On the other hand I can't really complain because the Red Cross lent us this one for free and it has to be a vast unbreakable mass of steel.

If you are going to Whitby we should have a quiet pint. And several noisy ones.

[identity profile] siani-hedgehog.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 02:58 pm (UTC)(link)
my mate had to pay for his shit wheelchair from the Red Cross! bastards!

alas, i am not going to this whitby - i might try for october, but i'm off to Bang Face Weekender this time. :)

[identity profile] damerell.livejournal.com 2010-04-07 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Pah. We'll drink all the booze in Whitby in April and then you'll be sorry when there's none left in October. :-)